


let me fall into your gravity

by Del (goddessdel)



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Domestic Disputes, F/M, Fluff, Makeup Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessdel/pseuds/Del
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not that he thinks she'll shoot him, but... well... he's almost certain that she won't shoot him for saving her life, at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me fall into your gravity

**Author's Note:**

> Written: 3/7/15-7/19/16
> 
> Title from "I miss you" by Adele.
> 
> Thanks to Beverly for giving it a quick read through. All remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> For PWP smut, this got really intense. Sorry/not sorry?

River slams the TARDIS door and glares at him, arms crossed over her chest, gun tapping restlessly on one arm. "Doctor! I can take care of myself."

 

The Doctor follows after her helplessly, but he knows the look in her eye well enough to keep his distance. It's not that he thinks she'll shoot him, but... well... he's almost certain that she won't shoot him for saving her life, at least. "I know you can!" At her raised eyebrow, he scratches at the faint stubble on his cheek and lowers his voice, suddenly desperate to explain. "But I want to - I just need to help, River."

 

Anger fading, River holsters her gun and watches him closely. "Oh, my love, you can't save me forever. One of these days I'll be gone and you will have to go on without me."

 

He'd rather have her anger than the terrible truth of her words. The quiet resignation in them. "What if I don't want to go on without you? We're both out of regenerations - maybe this is how it'll finally end."

 

"Don't talk like that. There's more to come for you - you'll find a new companion and -"

 

It's his anger that flares and he throws himself into motion, pacing until he's right in front of River but not quite touching her. He wants to shake her. "Why must you always do that?"

 

River blinks up at him, the crease in her brow genuinely confused. "Do what?"

 

"Act as though I don't care? As though I could just get over your loss? I can't, River - not you." His anger dissolves into that terrible, wrenching pit of loss. The choking feeling that it's already too late.

 

She gives him an achingly sad smile. "Haven't you already?" He gapes at her, blood roaring in his ears and all the breath knocked out of him in a whoosh. "Oh my love - Doctor - I can see it in your eyes."

 

He looks away from hers, ducking his head and leaning heavily against the console. "...River... I -" The Doctor struggles to find the right words to express what she means to him; how much she means. All the words running about in his head and he's never been able to find _these_ words.

 

"Shh, it's all right. I know." River takes him in her arms until he turns and buries his head in her neck, folding in on himself and wrapping around her for support.

 

"You always do." He means it as an endearment but it comes out tinged with what might be bitterness or desperation. He never meant for her to see her own death in his eyes - _spoilers_ \- but he hopes she knows how he loves her. She must. _River always knows._

 

River sighs but it's a gentle sound. "It's a lucky thing that I do. Who else is going to take care of you, my love?"

 

The Doctor offers her a wry smile, pulling back but not quite meeting her eyes. "And yet you never let me take care of you."

 

It's River who withdraws completely, hiding the damage under a flippant tone. "You need looking after. I don't."

 

His anger flares again, always so easily roused by her apparent nonchalance about her own wellbeing. He crowds her back into the railing, his hands tight over her arms. "That's bollocks, River. We're supposed to take care of each other: _It's called marriage._ "

 

River's eyes narrow at the echo of her words but they finally meet his. "Oh, is that what it's called, sweetie: _Marriage_? When it's convenient for you?"

 

"Convenient?! What about our marriage has ever been convenient!?"

 

"Your ability to ignore it as you see fit?"

 

"If you think there's one second of any day that I am not thinking of you, River Song, you don't know the first thing about me. I may have learnt my lesson about running round the universe painting a target on the chests of those I love, but just because I don't announce that you're my _wife_ to every planet of every galaxy doesn't make us any less married."

 

He's right in her face, so close that he can watch colors storm through her eyes - the angry flashes of gold; the clear greens; the calmer blues. She's almost bent backwards over the railing but she doesn't finch away from him, doesn't break his grip. They're both breathing heavily. The Doctor stumbles away from her, shoving his hands into his hair to hide the way they suddenly shake. He doesn't know why they're having a row - some artifact of the leftover adrenaline from seeing her so terrifyingly near death just moments before.

 

He only manages one step backwards, tripping over his feet in his haste, apologies already racing across his tongue. River catches him by his lapels and hauls him back into her, her lips finding his even as he stumbles and they slam into the railing as they scramble to stay upright.

 

They kiss each other desperately, clinging to the precious few moments they have left together like this, hands already tearing at one another's clothing with more rush than finesse.

 

While River is focused on undressing them, the Doctor slides his hand under River's waistband, fingertips finding her clit. River's encouraging hum is muffled by his mouth, and the Doctor focuses all his attention on sliding his hand lower as she wiggles her jodhpurs down, stroking through already slick flesh until he can press one finger inside her.

 

Momentarily distracted from her task, River's hands still, her hips jerking toward his hand. His free hand finds hers and together they shove her jodhpurs further down, giving him more room to maneuver his wrist.

 

River lifts her mouth from his, her breathing already shallow. The Doctor pins her between the railing and his body, watching her upturned face and heavy-lidded eyes as he adds a second finger and thrusts them with increasing urgency, thumb circling her clit.

  
Hands clutching his arms, River spreads her legs as wide as her half-undressed state allows and moans, internal muscles gripping greedily at his fingers.

 

They're so keyed up that the Doctor finds himself rutting helplessly against her, fingers thrusting roughly as his other hand squeezes her bum. River buries her face in his chest when she comes, his name on her lips, muffled against his shirt. The Doctor holds himself together with effort, breathing hard and trying to stop the needy circles of his hips.

 

But River's hands are already tugging his shirt off before she's even caught her breath. The Doctor enthusiastically assists, undoing his trousers while River finally steps out of her jodhpurs.

 

As soon as they've stripped, River leaps into his arms, powerful thighs wrapping around his hips. The Doctor catches her only through considerable practice, one hand supporting her and the other gripping the railing.

 

Leveraging her grip on his shoulders, River shifts until she's rising over him and taking him inside her in one quick, complicated movement.

 

The Doctor is left gasping as the wet, tight heat of her engulfs him. "River..."

 

The rest of his thought is lost to the roll of her hips. The Doctor bites back a strangled noise and buries his head in her neck, her curls dancing across his face.

 

"Yes, _husband_?"

 

He presses biting kisses across her skin, teasing, "Oh, so we are still married?"

 

River shifts to gain more leverage as she rises over him, sex and thighs squeezing him tightly with every roll of her hips. "I hate you."

 

It's less than convincing when she's wrapped around him and her voice is caught on a gasp. The Doctor nips at her collarbone, smirking. "No you don't."

 

He lifts his head to share a grin with her - their _I love you's_ have never been traditional - and River bends to meet him in a messy kiss as they move together. She slips and he releases his careful grip on the railing just long enough to hitch her higher again, breaking their kiss so they can catch their breath and balance.

 

They're in a precarious position. The fall to the first level isn't far enough to kill them, but it wouldn't be very pleasant. It's River throwing herself headfirst into danger and dragging him along for the ride, as it were.

 

It's reckless.

 

Only it's impossible to so much as think of stopping with River moving around him, over him. It's all the Doctor can do to hang on and hope his balance holds out long enough to keep them both upright.

 

River's fingers dig into his shoulders, her legs locked tight around his back as she lifts herself almost completely off of him and then drops back down, letting gravity press him as deep inside her as their bodies will allow before she starts all over again. It's a delicious, slow torture as their bodies slide together, already slick with sweat from the exertion of this particular position.

 

Her breasts drag across his chest with every stroke, soft skin and pebbled nipples.

 

The Doctor makes an embarrassing whimpering noise, a tight, heavy lust already coiling through his body. He needs a third hand to wedge between them and reach for River, but he's not stupid enough to let go of the railing when he can feel his muscles straining already. He mouths at her neck and chest and everywhere he can reach, pressing needy kisses against her skin. "Not enough hands," he mumbles, half whinging.

 

River moans something that might be agreement, her head tossed back. She shifts carefully to wrap one arm more securely around his neck and free her other, snaking it between them to rub at her clit. "That's better."

 

The Doctor can only nod helplessly as they move together, River's fingers bumping his abdomen and her moan increasing in frequency and pitch. He shifts forward until River's back is pressed against the top of the railing and he has more leverage to thrust up roughly with River's every downward stroke.

 

Everything is tight and urgent and he keeps having to hitch River up when their sweaty skin slips, and he's half gone on her already. River slides her fingers over her clit with increasing urgency, her moans cracking at the edges, and she's so tight around him that the Doctor can barely hang onto his shaky control. He bends his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hard nub.

 

Head thrown back, River comes with the raw, sinful scream that he hears in his favorite dreams. The Doctor follows her helplessly, knuckles white around the railing and praying that his legs hold out.

 

They keep their feet just long enough to avoid disaster before sinking gratefully down to the floor and stretching out on the cool glass while they fight to catch their breath. His fingers trace the soft skin of River's side, but she doesn't immediately curl into him. Now that their bodies are - at least momentarily - exhausted, he can almost hear her thinking because she's River and, like him, she never really stops. The Doctor puts his hands behind his head and waits. They've been married too long for him to hope that a quick shag in the console room will magically fix everything.

 

"My life has always been dangerous, Doctor. I can't change who I am - I won't." When the Doctor turns his head, River has her eyes resolutely on the ceiling far above them.

 

He turns to face her properly, propping himself up on one elbow and frowning. "I'm not asking you to."

 

Still not quite meeting his eyes, River sighs. "Yes, you are. You do."

 

The Doctor waits for her to look at him before he clarifies, "I'm _asking_ you to let me be there with you - to let me _in_."

 

For a fraction of a moment her eyes soften and the Doctor thinks he's finally gotten through to her, but then River sets her jaw, shaking her head. "I won't put you in danger."

 

The Doctor runs his free hand through his hair in exasperation as he scoffs, "You have to realize how ridiculous that sounds."

 

River's eyes narrow dangerously. "Do I? I gave my _lives_ to save yours, Doctor. I won't have you throwing them away -"

 

"On what? On _you_?"

 

Shoving herself to her feet, River purses her lips and looks away, arms crossed over her chest. "You're more important."

 

The Doctor scrambles up after her, fighting the renewed urge to shake her. "That's rubbish!"

 

"You're more important _to me_ ," she bites out, and if he didn't know her so well he wouldn't be able to see the shine to her eyes or the subtle tremor at her lips.

 

"I'm not going to just _let you die_ , River. Not if there's a breath left in my body."

 

They're standing too close again, fists clenched to keep from reaching for each other. The Doctor feels suspended at the edge of a void, not sure how to bridge the gap of her death between them. How to stop her from accepting it, when he never can.

 

River looks pained, her eyes luminous and wet with tears she stubbornly blinks back. "Don't say that. I don't want you to put me before everything else."

 

"Well that's not your call to make. You _are_ more important than everything else."

 

She sighs heavily. "Doctor..."

 

" _River_ ," he swallows around the tight, constricted feeling in his throat. "I just can't stand the idea of seeing you hurt. Please, River." His hands are shaking, he realizes.

 

River catches his hands in hers, her thumbs stroking soothingly across his skin. "That's part of life, my love. I'm going to get hurt. I've been hurt before." She gives him a look like he's the one who needs comforting at the reminder, when all he wants to do is take away her every pain. "But you can't go taking bullets for me."

 

"I was never in any danger of getting shot." He protests, tugging her closer and wanting nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms again.

 

"Only through blind luck and your appalling sense of coordination!"

 

But River is rolling her eyes at him and the Doctor feels his world right itself with the gesture. He can feel a lopsided smile tugging at his lips. "Oi - I think we've just established that my coordination is brilliant," he gestures pointedly between them and the railing.

 

River huffs but it's more fond than exasperated, and her eyes have regained some of their sparkle. She swats at him without any force whatsoever and he just catches her hand in his. "Fine," her gaze skitters away from his again. "If I promise to send for you when I find myself in potentially stupidly dangerous situations, will you promise not to just rush in all half-cocked?"

 

"I'm always fully cocked, dear."

 

This time her swat has a bit of sting to it. She wrinkles her nose in that way he never fails to find utterly adorable and beguiling and doesn't let him catch her hands again. "That was terrible."

 

The Doctor rubs his arm and pouts, putting on an elaborate show of being wounded. "Oh you love it. And I -" he never can quite get the words out, not when she's looking at him like he's her entire universe and he feels so undeserving of such devotion. What good is his love to her? A too old wanderer with nothing to offer her but madcap adventures before they lose each other to time. "I promise to at least have a plan in progress before I rush in after you."

 

"Liar."

 

"Well, yeah." He tugs her fully into his arms, running his hands soothingly along her back and reveling in the feel of her curves against him. It's almost enough, but he can't quite forget the sting of her earlier words. "Do you really feel ignored?"

 

River laughs into his shoulder, tilting her head back to wing an eyebrow at him. "It's a bit impossible at the moment - always so handsy, Doctor."

 

Fighting at a blush, the Doctor holds his hands still with effort. He won't let River distract them both again just to avoid answering. "River."

 

"It's just... hard sometimes, being back to front." She reaches up to press her hand over his chest, where his bowtie would sit if he were dressed. "I shouldn't hold that against you."

 

It's the Doctor's turn to look away, guilt rising up and choking him with its bitterness. "Shouldn't you?"

 

Reaching up with a firm hand at his jaw, River forces him to meet her eyes. "Would you fix it, Doctor? If you could?"

 

He catches her hand in his and brings it to his lips. "I - in a single heartbeat - _River_ -" What good is being a Time Lord, when he can't fix this? When he can't save her?

 

She shushes him with her mouth against his. Just a quick, tender press of her lips before she's gone again, his lips following helplessly after hers. "Well then, that settles it. Not your fault." She cuts off his protest. "You can't carry the weight of the entire universe on those bony shoulders, my love."

 

"Oi - my shoulders are perfectly -" only now that she's said it and the Doctor glances side to side at his shoulders, he has to admit she has a point. "Actually, they are a bit bony, aren't they?"

 

River presses apologetic kisses to each shoulder blade. "I love them." _I love you._

 

She's smiling at him but her eyes are still shining a touch too brightly from the tears she's holding back.

 

The Doctor's hearts stutter hopefully in his chest. "Do you?" _I love you too._

 

Her arms wrap around his neck, her body leaning into his. "Always."

 

_I know._


End file.
